Written by: Shalyn Isaacs / Communication Coaching / November 03, 2021 / 10 minutes read

Our mental health can have a significant influence on our ability to communicate effectively with others and have fulfilling social relationships. Does your ability to communicate effectively change whenever you feel anxious, tense, fearful, or stressed? Mental health issues can lead to cognitive impairments in executive functioning, memory, concentration, and self-awareness in ways that affect our communication abilities. Oftentimes, when we address the underlying causes of mental health challenges – our ability to communicate ourselves confidently to others can change as well. 

I am a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) who has been trained in treating mental health issues through a non-pathologizing framework. This essentially means I believe that the source of mental distress is not located within the individual person who is suffering – but rather that mental health challenges are deeply influenced by trauma as well as social, cultural, and political circumstances. Through integrating a compassion-centered perspective in psychotherapy treatment, we can explore the underlying causes of communication challenges in a way that is holistic and empowering.

I believe that a person’s mental health and communication challenges are not their fault. Our mental health is often influenced by early childhood experiences, trauma, and the messages we have internalized from our social environments. These experiences may have also taught us how to communicate in particular ways in order to feel safe. 

For example – if you were reprimanded or shamed by a parent every time you asked to have your needs met or spoke up for yourself, then you may have learned to avoid communicating your needs in order to protect yourself from potential harm. You may have learned from your social environment that your needs and ideas are not important. As a result, you may have grown into an adult who has developed a fear of public speaking or who feels guilty whenever asking for support. 

There can be countless reasons for why you may struggle to communicate yourself effectively to others. However, it is important to recognize that your communication challenges may be rooted in difficult life experiences and are coping mechanisms that you developed in order to feel safe and validated in human relationships. 

In Psychotherapy we can explore the ways that your current communication challenges may be coping mechanisms that have actually served you at some point in your earlier years – but don`t anymore. 

Perhaps choosing to remain quiet and docile as a child protected you from being yelled at by a caregiver, teacher, or figure of authority.

•  Communicating aggression by verbally attacking others protected you from being bullied.

• Speaking only when you were spoken to meant that you received validation for being a ‘good girl’.

• Choosing to avoid communicating your anger to others when they mistreated you may have protected you from being racially stereotyped.

When we can have compassion for the ways our difficult behaviours acted as protective mechanisms in our past, it makes it easier for us to change and communicate in ways that align with our core values and desires. 

My trauma-informed, compassion-centered approach to psychotherapy seeks to address the ways that your communication challenges developed for a reason as survival coping mechanisms that may no longer be useful to you as an adult. I draw on therapeutic techniques from Somatic (body-based) therapies, Mindfulness-Based therapies, Existential therapy, and Multi-Cultural Feminist Therapy to address the psychological, emotional and social causes and solutions to your communication concerns. 

We will explore how you can feel confident with communicating from a place of self-empowerment rather than from a place of survival. 

Together, we can develop your confidence in your communication skills by first addressing your mental health concerns and growing your confidence in who you are. I believe that when people feel confident to be their fullest selves rather than perform what others want them to be – their communication skills naturally improve. Essentially, our external circumstances (i.e confident communication) can change when our internal (i.e mental health) states change.

It may sound paradoxical – but change often happens through compassion and acceptance. Psychotherapy can be a place for you to explore your communication issues within an environment that values your healing and self-empowerment.

To work with Shalyn Isaacs as your psychotherapist (qualifying) at Well Said: Toronto Speech Therapy, schedule an initial consultation by clicking the link below or by calling (647) 795-5277.