Finding The Words And Getting Them Out

Written by: Kendra Wormald / Fluency Therapy / December 07, 2022 / 7 minutes read

What’s That Word Again?

Have you ever felt like you knew what you wanted to say but just couldn’t find the words, or it felt as though the word was on the ‘tip of your tongue’, (scientifically called a tip of the tongue (TOT) phenomena), but you just couldn’t find it? Every now and again we all experience this to some extent. At times our ability to access words may be impacted by the amount of sleep you have, how high stress a situation is, how frequently you use the word, or the lack of knowledge you have about a topic. Among these may also be for more medical reasons such as Primary Progressive Aphasia, a brain injury,cognitive impairment, aging, or MS. For some people, word finding difficulties occur a lot more frequently than they’d like and often interrupts the forward flow of communication.  

 What Can I Do? 

• Take time to communicate 

• Think of a synonym or antonym or a word associated (e.g., not a spoon but has a similar function)

• Describe what it looks like, what it does

• Use it in a sentence “In order to wash my hands I need water and ____” 

• Think of the first letter 

• Picture the words or what it looks like as a thing or action 

• Use gestures, write it down 

Importantly, try not to spend too much time struggling to find the word. Psychological research suggests that the more time you spend attempting to remember a word that’s on the ‘tip of your tongue’, the more likely it is that you’ll struggle when you try to remember that word next time. So take a break and come back to it if you can’t seem to recall it after using some of the above tricks.

At times our ability to access words may be impacted by the amount of sleep you have, how high stress a situation is, how frequently you use the word, or the lack of knowledge you have about a topic.

Why Can’t I … Get My Words Out?

Similar to word finding difficulties, struggling to get the known words out also happens to most people and can be due to fatigue, anxiety, nervousness or lack of practice. How this may come out in your communication: 

• Swapping the first letter of words (e.g.,“belly jeans” for “jelly beans”), aka spoonerisms

• Repeating words or phrases (e.g., I can't, I can’t wait)

• Forgetting where you were in a thought (e.g., Use phrases such as “What was I saying”)

• Using filler words (e.g., umm, so, like, uhh) 

• Switching between thoughts (e.g., going on a tangent) 

• Tripping over sounds or words 

• Mispronouncing words 

Why Does This happen? 

There are various reasons why you may stumble over your words sometimes. To determine why this occurs, begin by reflecting on what’s going on when it happens. For instance, are you a great conversationalist but once you get up to do a presentation you stumble over your words? In this case, consider what’s different or challenging about this experience, are there higher expectations, do you know what you’re going to say, have you had a previous bad public speaking experience? How do you feel, do you feel any physical tension, is your heart rate increased, are you taking short shallow breaths? How focused are you, are you thinking about other irrelevant things, is there a distracting noise in the room? 

Evidently, there are many reasons why this can occur. If you constantly struggle with ‘stuttering’ throughout your communication, look into more specific resources and approaches to target fluency disorders here. 

What Can I do? 

Although this occurs to many, it doesn’t make it any less impactful on your own life and communication abilities. There are specific ways you can learn to evaluate your utterances for where breakdowns happen and determine if there’s a pattern. 

1. Slow Down 

Uncomfortable and stressful situations often lead to a faster rate of speech. Maybe you don’t feel confident and you want to rush through speaking while trying not to take up any extra time or space. You should aim to say about 150 words per minute, but that may be easier said than down. Try lengthening the vowels in your words, take more time between words, give yourself time to think, pause around every 8-10 words, add emphasis on certain words and concepts. 

2. Use your Breath 

Using a deep replenishing breath not only will help target the nervousness and help calm anxiety and tension while speaking, it can also help your speech come across as clear and having a forward flow. Be intentional about the quality and quantity of breath. Learn more about how to use a deep replenishing breath in communication with our Breathing For Communication MasterClass. 

         What to Consider:

• Take a breath around every 8-10 words, always taking the breath before you feel you need one. 

• Take your time to breathe

• Recognize that you deserve to take up space 

• Don’t hold your breath while speaking

• Breathe slowly both in and out while listening to others, through your nose 

3. Enunciate 

When speaking fast we tend to skip over speech sounds. Intentionally focusing on enunciating and articulating each speech sound in a word well, will likely have the opposite effect and help slow you down. Try over-enunciating the next written material you come across, it may sound robotic at first but the more and more your practice this the better and crisper your speech will sound. Move your lips, drop your jaw and open your mouth, allowing each speech sound to be produced well, ensuring to avoid mumbling. 

4. Consider Your Thoughts and Feelings 

Whether it be while meeting new people, delivering a presentation, speaking to someone in authority or confronting someone about a conflict, negative thoughts and emotions can wreak havoc on your ability to speak clearly and in a forward manner. Feelings of anxiety can come out of nowhere and make it hard to think about what to say, listen to others, and speak confidently. Reflect on the specific thoughts that come with your emotions and attempt to challenge these thoughts with evidence and positive affirming thoughts such as “ I am in control of my rate and can take up space”. Click here to learn more about the Role Emotion Plays On Communication And Professional Development.

5. Reflect 

Every interaction is an opportunity to practice and evaluate your communication. What was great about it, where can I grow? This thought process will help direct you to specific aspects of your communication instead of seeing it as a whole and not knowing where the breakdown is happening or where to begin. 

To speak with a psychotherapist or one of the speech-language pathologists at Well Said: Toronto Speech Therapy, schedule an initial consultation by clicking the link below or calling (647) 795-5277.