Written by: Nimra Khan / Adult ADHD / February 01, 2023 / 8 minutes read

Executive functions can be thought of as the “orchestra” of the brain. These skills involve planning, time management, and even setting goals, to name a few. In my experience, these skills have been difficult for nearly every client I have worked with who also have an ADHD diagnosis. Exactly how it impacts a person varies depending on the individual. However, I’ve found it helpful to discuss with clients (especially as it relates to social skills), so will be describing a few aspects of this here today.  

Executive function is responsible for many skills, including:

• Regulating emotions

• Paying attention

• Organizing, planning, and prioritizing

• Starting tasks and staying focused 

• Understanding different points of view

• Self-monitoring (keeping track of what you’re doing)

We all use executive functions at many points throughout the day. For instance, I used these skills to plan out and write this blog post to completion. I paid attention as I was writing, and if I got distracted by something on my screen (i.e. an email), then I was able to come back to this task and continue. We also use these skills in managing frustration, talking things out with others when in conflict, and so on. As I mentioned earlier, this ‘orchestra’ can work well in harmony. When this harmony does not work well, then difficulties can arise and there are major impacts to daily life. 

1. Brain development

   There is research that shows certain areas of the brain linked to memory and emotional control can develop more slowly for those who have executive functioning difficulty. 

2. Genes/hereditary 

   If a family member also has these difficulties, it is more likely that you will, as well. 

These are two areas that are considered in research, however it should be kept in mind that there is often a combination of factors that cause this, which are different for each individual.

It is important to be able to control how we react to certain situations as well. The ability to regulate emotions, therefore, is a key part of executive functioning and social communication. At first, it might be difficult to understand how these skills affect a conversation. This article is a helpful read for the role of emotions in general communication. But consider these areas that have to occur while in a 1:1 conversation:

• While listening to someone speak, I need to focus on what they are saying

• As I take in information, I need to plan and prioritize what is best to say in response

• I need to ignore background noise/distractions 

• I need to use some flexible thinking to relate to other people, and especially to people who have different perspectives from mine

• I manage how I show my emotions

• How I show excitement, sadness, anger might be different with family vs friends

• If I feel angry about something, I might still want to control how polite I sound to the other person 

• If I am very excited about something, I may still want to wait and not interrupt the other person a lot 

• Manage turn-taking by not taking over the conversation but also not responding at all 

One or all of these areas could be difficult for an individual with ADHD. This breakdown highlights a lot of the skills we are using in-the-moment without thinking about it. For some individuals, such as people with ADHD, this orchestra is more difficult to manage. There are social consequences to poor emotional management in conversations as well, such as people feeling awkward when being interrupted a lot, making it less likely to have conversations in future. When someone also does not feel listened to, it can seem as though you just don’t care what they are saying, even though internally you may be trying to manage many different skills to listen well. The next thing to consider is how to improve executive skills and especially manage them during a conversation, which this article can also help you decide on.

There are two aspects to improving these skills. One is to find management strategies to reduce the load on your brain’s ‘orchestra’ for daily tasks. The other aspect is small tasks to improve working memory, attention and self-control outside of applying to daily tasks – this could be taking part in physical activity that allows you to work on all major areas of executive functioning. We will focus mostly on the management in daily activities, as it relates to speech and language.

The first thing to consider is evaluating the specific areas in your life that are currently being impacted by these skills the most. Here are some ideas:

1. I can’t finish my work tasks on time

2. I started my project yesterday, but I know I’ll get distracted and won’t be able to finish by the end of the week

3. Talking to my co-worker makes me really frustrated, we don’t agree on a lot of things

4. Talking to my classmate makes me very nervous, I don’t want to say the wrong thing 

Then consider what are the ways you can predict and manage these in daily life. Here are ideas for each number above:

1. Try to use a time management app to help you – here is good website for some ideas:

2. Break down the project into smaller steps – write them down so that you can remember what you have completed (maybe it can even motivate you to complete more!)

3. If you know your emotions will be heightened, practice the use of calming abdominal breaths that you could use in the moment. Alternatively, you could also think of some phrases to take yourself out of a difficult situation (example: “I don’t think we’ll be on the same page about this, maybe we should discuss something else”)

4. Try to be more in-the-moment. Use your active listening skills to nod along and listen to someone’s whole statement before making a response. 

You should keep in mind that it can take trial and error to find the right fit of strategies for you, but it isn’t until you try that you’ll find the best fit! There are difficulties that you may have specific to the workplace as well, which this article can help to identify. If this is an area you would like to work on at your own pace, take a look at the Communication Wellness masterclass. 

To speak with one of the speech-language pathologists at Well Said: Toronto Speech Therapy, schedule an initial consultation by clicking the link below or calling (647) 795-5277.